Is anyone out there? ...

  I am lost. Lost in darkness, a place familiar yet unknown. Time stops yet the clock is ticking, and the countdown continues. A countdown to what? The end or beginning?

  For the last eighteen years I have lived my life as I pictured. I  am what I always thought I was: a kid, a carefree child, and most importantly, a student. But as judgement day draws near, i am forced to re-evaluate my identity, and the person i seek to be. What I have found is that I do not known myself. I do not know what I want to major in. I do not know what I want to be. I am a traveller who does not know his destination.

  Lost.

  I have no habit of thinking about the future. The principle according to which I live my life is to make the best of NOW. I believed if each stepping stone is perfect then the road will just take me to where I want to be.

  But it doesn't. And now I know that for the last twelve years that I spent in school, it wasn't leading to my future. It was leading to this.

  I am tired. I sleep ten hours a day, but what's tired is my soul. With the walls suppressing I am condemned to silence, but inside I crave for freedom. The freedom of taking it easy. The freedom of been truly happy and not feel guilty about it. The freedom of going out to enjoy the sun.

  I look outside and I see people. And I wonder if they have ever felt what I feel now. I search their faces for answers they shyly turn away. Maybe we're all meant to bleed in one battle field or another. But those tears and sorrow, deppression and pain, they're memories for each individual to treasure.

  I am weak. I know. Others bite down hard and swallow, when I weep and sob in comforting arms. I pour it out when a real warrior stays silent.

  Sometimes we live for years like it was a day. And sometimes we live for a few days as if it was a year. In those days we are baptised and reborn, and as we look at the day with brand new eyes, we have grown.