Anyone care to moniter the process of pain? I tried. We all had bad things happen to us right? Sometimes they come without warning. And when it strikes you you're left with this feel of emptiness. You don't feel the pain all of a sudden, because you're still having trouble making sense of it, and accepting it. Is it true? Could there be a mistake? Is this really happening to me? Why? Is this real? Maybe I'll wake up...The bad information itself is not complex, but our mind is no cpu, and our sub-conscious wishfulness rejects the info that we wish is not true.

   And after some time, as the shock fade away, the pain comes crashing in. It suffocates us, and I mean it literally. You seem to breath out dense fumes, which makes your breath heavier, and your mind loses clarity. Your mind is occupied by a single information, which is rare, and can only be acheived through dramatic emotions.

   As the first wave of pain dies down, a second comes in. This one is weaker, and leaves space for thought. Emotion and logic are conflicting elements, one increase while the other decrease. You begin to think back how this occured, how you could have prevented it, the consequences this fate brings, and what your options are. In this stage we are controlled by our emotions, and our thoughts tend to be irrevelent: Why does this have to happen to me? why do bad things happen to good people? Is it becaused I didn't pray enough? Is this a punishment? Should I kill myself? Friends and family, at this stage, would do better if they leave the subject ( the person) alone, because taliking logic would do no good.

   One of the things people say is: it already happened. Move on. Note this: it is impossible for the subject to not think about it. It is impossible to not feel sad. So, if a friend of family want to comfort the subject, do not try say: "you're being sad has no use" and such, because there is no way you can make the subject share your view and feel better all of a sudden. This is an emotional problem. While logical problems can be solved instantly by been shown the right way, emotional problems can not. What a friend can do, is simply be there with the subject, listen tentively, and steering the conversation away from negativity. A simple presence would be enough.

   Each period of pain can only last a few hours. After then you may feel temporaily better. You may suddenly have a postive view, or simply say: fuck it, I don't care. But bear in mind that the negative thoughts will come back with force, so be prepared.

   As days turn into weeks, your pain will lessen, but do not dissapear. It is important to contain the emotional damage. Protect your confidence and self esteem. Also, know that whatever happened to you, you're not the first or last to endure it. knowing cases worse than yours or knowing how people got out of it is a great help.

   Last of all, think. About the whole thing. Experience may only be gained if you dig hard. Do not try to forget it. Injuries that are not healed properly effects us the rest of our lives...

 

To be continued...